If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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