i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
wow bdsm is so cute
I came so hard my ears popped.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
