They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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