everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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