sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
