i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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