I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
be right there i have to get my cape
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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