I think im going to throw up on grandma
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
