so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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