I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
