Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
