her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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