I hate your face
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
