it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
