if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i out mim tonsoeep
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