When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
