Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
