Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
