Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
