a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
