some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
