We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
