You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
