Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
