i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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