His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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