the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
