I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
