I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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