plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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