I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
