i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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