worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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