It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
