What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
