she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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