Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
