he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
