Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize