You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You were trust falling into bushes
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
