it wasn't lemon gatorade
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Oh god it's open bar.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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