Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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