i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
