Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also, beer. Big fan.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
