wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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