She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
