a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
