Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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