im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
