I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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